And so it begins...

This adventure... This journey that I have been desperately trying to start for years... Has finally begun - a little sooner than we had thought...

Ian Royce Gillaspie MacDonald was welcomed into this world via c-section on May 12th 2011 at 10:40am. He weighed 4 lbs 6 oz and was 17 3/4 inches long. His original due date was June 13th so this was obviously much sooner than we had originally anticipated.

But perhaps I should start at the beginning...

We had fertility issues and we had tried a bunch of natural methods for years trying to conceive a child on our own. The bottom line is I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and natural conception methods would have been near impossible. Any natural methods we tried were unsuccessful so we turned to drug treatments as our first option. We started on Chlomid in February 2010. I had very little side effects on this drug and they steadily increased my dose each month once it was determined that I still was not ovulating. We finally conceived our first child in April. Unfortunately, we lost this first one in May and we were devastated. After trying for so long to conceive on our own and finally receiving the hope that this simple drug intervention could work for us, we were elated to find out we were pregnant. Only to have those hopes destroyed in such a brief period of time... It took longer for us to recover emotionally than it did for my body to recover from this loss. I wanted to jump back on the horse though. I was hoping that the next one would be just as simple! And it was... ish...

We conceived Ian in September and we were again so excited. We tried our hardest to withhold our excitement as much as possible though, not knowing if this one would stick or not. Well he stuck around so he soon became nicknamed "Sticky-Bun"!!!

The months flew by as we started to have hopes and dreams of our future Sticky-Bun. Who would they end up being in life? What will they do? Will they be the kind of person that inspires others? Would they be happy and fulfilled in their lives no matter what happens?

Throughout the pregnancy, I had been diagnosed with multiple different issues... Thankfully, I was being really heavily monitored by my OBGyn so these issues were caught very early on and were handled flawlessly. The overall issues became low acting thyroid, hypertension, and gestational diabetes. These issues meant obvious drastic lifestyle changes for me and I dealt with them as they came at me... Most of these were fairly well maintained with medications - the gestational diabetes being more of a nuisance with the constant finger pokes and insulin injections. But it was all manageable. Thank goodness for alarm settings on cell phones! I had 9 different alarms that would go off telling me that I needed to make sure I was eating snacks at the right times, taking my blood sugar tests at the right times, and taking my medications at the right times. It was all very regimented and regulated... It was also really annoying. I had alarms going about once every couple hours (literally set for 8:30am, 10am, 12:30pm, 2:30pm, 3:30pm, 5:30pm, 7:30pm, 8:30pm, and 10pm). This was on top of the dietary restrictions I was under as gestational diabetic, etc. The benefit of all this management was that I gained very little weight. I literally only gained about 5-7 lbs throughout the whole pregnancy.

The months continued to fly by and in January we had a simple test run... This test is known as a "quad screening". It's a standard test that most practitioners run for pregnant women. It's a maternal blood screening that compares a number of different factors (age, ethnicity, etc.) with other blood screenings in order to determine the mother's risk of possible abnormalities. This is not a very good test and can send out a lot of "false positives". As my doctor explained it, it's like driving a car... If you drive the car on I-5 then you have a certain risk of having an accident on I-5. If you drive I-5 everyday to get to and from work, your risk of having an accident is increased (aka "false positive") but that doesn't necessarily mean that you will ever be involved in an accident on I-5 during your entire lifetime. Same with this screening. It was determined that we had an increased chance of having a baby with Down's Syndrome when my screening was conducted. At the time, before I fully understood the screening and the amount of "false positives" that it sends out, it really freaked me out... I received amazing advice and support from friends and family - gotta love FaceBook! In the end my doctor told me that I could do an amniocentesis to determine for sure if my child had Downs or not. There are many risks associated with conducting the amniocentesis. You are inserting a needle into the amniotic sack in order to extract some of the amniotic fluid to test. Miscarriages after this procedure are fairly common (on average about 1 out of 200 performed). The possibility of another miscarriage was a pretty tough pill to swallow just to determine if this baby had Downs or not... We decided not to chance it...

Throughout this whole pregnancy, I have really felt like this little one was special. Our first child had to leave us in order for Ian to be with us. I truly feel that Ian is here for a purpose! I always believe that there are no accidents and everything has happened for a reason. Ian is NOT an accident and he is HERE for a reason!!!

Ian has Down's Syndrome. I'm not sure if I had already mentally prepared for this ever since the screening results, but in all honesty, it really didn't bother me to hear this news while in recovery. Even now, I still don't feel that this is devastating news... My biggest concern is that he is healthy and strong and that he will able to go home with us soon!

So far, Ian is doing fairly well under his circumstances... The NICU staff have been amazing and are always available for any of our questions. They have been so great about providing us some resources and educating us on his conditions. Apparently heart defects can go hand-in-hand with Downs. Ian had an ultrasound and a cardiologist said his heart looked good - no apparent issues with any of the chambers and he has always had a good strong heartbeat. They have not heard any murmurs either :) He's been increasing his formula at each feeding and he has started digesting his food well. His system is so young that it was not necessarily ready for all of this yet... He was planning on still being in my tummy with the umbilical cord providing his nutrition for him.

So now your journey begins my little Ian... You will have some struggles but your Mommy and Daddy will ALWAYS be here for you! Guiding your way and cheering you on at every step!!! You already mean so much to both of us and we can't wait to be a part of your life :)